Day 122: A place for everything

It took me a long time to stop feeling guilty and like a weirdo just because I like neat. I don't just like it when it's neat, I get a great sense of satisfaction out of turning messes into neat, out of bringing order to chaos. And I'm good at it. It's wonderful to be good at something you like to do, especially something that most of the rest of humanity dislikes so vehemently.

For a long time, I felt like I should not actually enjoy the act of neatening. That I should do it but grudgingly. Nowadays, it's somewhat of a given that given half a chance I will start reorganizing your closets and lining up the bookshelves. Or cleaning out the fridge. I'm not much for cleaning really, but neatening...that's my thing. And before you ask, yes, it's equally neat at my place. Not all the time of course but most of the time. When a certain line gets crossed, or I'm expecting company, then sim-salla-bim (as the Swedes would say) the place gets a once over. Besides, I can't think well in a clutter. And I do so like thinking well.

So, there you have it. I'm out of the closet. Just call me Neatnik ;-)

Day 121: Tomorrow

Today, I'm glad that yesterday had a tomorrow. A time to start over, to do better than I did the day before. It amazes me that I get second chances and that they come with so much love and consideration. Like being thanked by a very sleepy Sweetie for waking him up. And having a long and thoughtful conversation with another Sweetie over breakfast about the merits of various cities to travel to. And "coming Auntie Bella" (rather than "just a second" or "I just have to...") when I called down the stairs to their playroom where they were getting in precious minutes with the adored Legos. And smiles and "see you later"s as they went off to school, on time...maybe even a minute or two early. Grace.

On a practical note, this was my happy project for today. Note that I did stop short of alphabetizing, though they are sorted by language and type of book. A bonus was finding postcards from Auntie Bella strewn here and there among the books, postcards that are now neatly stored in a plastic bag on the top shelf along with letters from Aunt Janice ;-))

Life is good!

Day 120: Sun and stars and all creation...

If you were in the chorus at Russell Sage Junior High School the same years as I, then you will recognize those as the lyrics to Beethoven's Ode to Joy. Perhaps you were in another chorus, or not, and recognize them anyway. I hadn't thought of them myself in quite a number of decades (though exactly how many I will not divulge ;-)) until the other night when the Sweeties were practicing the piano.

Yesterday, and again today, I had a go at it myself. My days of piano lessons coincided pretty much with the aforementioned chorus and lasted about the same number of years, that is, three. If you have ever studied the piano you know that three is not very many years. To my delight, I could actually manage this (very simple, albeit two-handed) version of Ode to Joy. Joyous indeed!

Day 119: Today, a cook

Friends think of me as a good cook while I think of myself as good at following recipes. If you want to become a cook, try making food in someone else's kitchen, even a really well equipped, well stocked kitchen like the one at the my Sweeties' home.

My challenge was facing ingredients and spices that I am not at all familiar with. Since I did not feel like going to the store, I was forced to rely on my imagination and past experience to come up with some combination of things that would not only be edible but also palatable. I am quite pleased with the result:

The real test will come in an hour or so when the Sweeties and I sit down to eat...will it be thumbs up? Or do I revert to recipes online? The suspense is mounting...

Day 118: Fall is upon us

It rained all morning and cleared up in time for my walk to the library to return two books. I love the smell in the air after a rainfall.

Later, I decamped to Bagarmossen where I get to spend an entire week with my Sweeties as their parents head off to NYC. I am filled with anticipation for the coming seven days of living life as close to being a single mom as I will ever get. Not vacation, real life...with school and scouts and soccer, homework and piano practice, bedtime stories and wake-up calls. How lucky am I?!

On the walk from the tunnelbana to their home, the air smells of pine trees and I catch sight of the first turning leaves of the season. Reds and yellows. Beautiful.

Life is good. I'm a happy camper.

Day 117: The godliness within

So I'm not much of a believer, not in the many rules of religion. The religion I was born into has a great many rules. I am much more fond of the rituals really. And I am glad that there are other people out there who are committed to the rules. They create and maintain community, a place to return to, a way of being that carries me back.

The flowers looked something like this. Happy 5773 everyone!

I realized a few years ago that my connection to the prayers is all in the melodies. If the melodies are unfamiliar to me, they feel "wrong" and I find it impossible to connect to the jewishness within.

Waiting for the rebbetzen and her family to walk with to shul this morning, I was captivated by the beauty of some potted flowers in their courtyard, their stillness, their life. Meditating on their beauty, I made my resolution for 5773:  to give the godliness within...that time that is just between me and myself...substantially more room in my life.

And I am a happier camper for that. Amen.

Day 116: Honey

Honey honey, let me feel it, ah-hah, honey honey

Honey honey, don't conceal it, ah-hah, honey honey

The way that you kiss goodnight

The way that you hold me tight

I feel like I wanna sing when you do your thing

This is the land of milk and honey

This is the land of sun and song and

This is the world of good and plenty

Humble and proud and young and strong

Sugar,

Oh, Honey Honey

You are my candy girl,

and you got me wanting you.

A hundred an done pounds of fun,
That's my little honey bun!
Get a load of honey bun tonight.

Sweet and healthy 5773 everyone!

Tonight: Erev Rosh Hashanah dinner with the Greismans